Boats, Votes, and Epstein’s Notes

Trump torches diplomacy, gags the press, rewrites the Constitution, and his allies keep popping up in Jeffrey’s little black book.

Good morning! Donald Trump spent the week reminding the world that authoritarianism isn’t just something happening over there, it’s America’s hottest new export. In New York, Colombian President Gustavo Petro grabbed a megaphone at a pro-Palestinian protest and told U.S. soldiers to “disobey Trump’s order” and not point their rifles at humanity. The State Department clutched its pearls and revoked Petro’s visa on the spot, condemning his “reckless and incendiary actions.” Petro, undeterred, posted the video himself like a man proud to be banned from the empire’s sandbox. For decades, Washington and Bogotá marched in lockstep on drug wars and military ties. Now, Colombia’s first leftist president is persona non grata in Manhattan, accused of treason for the high crime of telling American troops to grow a conscience.

In Tehran, Trump’s fireworks show at Iran’s nuclear sites blew up in his face, or more accurately, ricocheted back like a boomerang strapped with C-4. The UN Security Council, dusting off the JCPOA’s snapback clause, has reimposed sweeping sanctions for the first time in ten years. Iran’s president called the move “unfair, unjust, and illegal,” but the real irony is that Trump himself shredded the nuclear deal in 2016. He set the house on fire, then lit another match, and now complains about the smell of smoke. The Europeans, tired of playing firefighter to his arsonist-in-chief routine, finally snapped and voted sanctions back into place.

But there’s another irony layered on top: by blowing up diplomacy, Trump has pushed Tehran straight into the arms of Moscow and Beijing. Russia and China already voted against sanctions, but they’re also lining up to cushion Iran economically, with energy deals, weapons sales, and diplomatic cover at the UN. Instead of isolating Iran, Trump has welded it tighter to the very authoritarian bloc he claims to be countering. It’s a classic own goal: Washington loses leverage, Moscow gains a partner, and Beijing gets another excuse to position itself as the patron of the Global South. A chain reaction, if you will pardon the pun.

Not content with international blunders, Trump turned inward to rewrite the Constitution by executive order. His administration just asked the Supreme Court to bless his plan to end birthright citizenship, you know, that plain-English guarantee in the 14th Amendment that says if you’re born here, you’re a citizen (unless your parents are diplomats). The Solicitor General insists that the country has “misunderstood” the text for 150 years. Translation: the Constitution is wrong, Trump is right, and we should all clap while he Sharpies in the new edition. Legal scholars are aghast, but the MAGA supermajority on the Court may just be limbering up for some interpretive gymnastics.

Trump’s war on the Constitution didn’t stop there. Remember those Inspectors General, the watchdogs Congress put in place to sniff out waste, fraud, and executive branch shenanigans? Trump sacked them en masse on day one, because nothing says “law and order” like firing the people whose job it is to enforce the law. Now those IGs are suing, and the courts have finally moved past preliminaries to ask the simple question: did Trump break the law? The statute is crystal clear, and the answer looks like a resounding yes. If judges rule against him, it will be a win for accountability, and proof that Trump can’t simply bulldoze oversight because it annoys him. Alas, he’ll surely find a way to claim victory on Truth Social, probably by accusing the dictionary of conspiring against him.

Because we weren’t drowning enough in authoritarian overreach, Trump decided to moonlight as a pharmacist this week. Out of nowhere, he’s warning pregnant women against using Tylenol. Why? Not because he suddenly learned how to pronounce acetaminophen, he can’t, but because his HHS Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., is in bed with the plaintiff’s bar.

Follow the money, follow the lawyers. The same guy who refused, under grilling from Liz Warren, to stop cashing checks from lawsuits against drug companies is now pushing an “acetaminophen causes autism” scare, timed perfectly with his friends’ federal appeals. The lead “expert” the White House cited in its press release was already dismissed by a judge as unreliable, cherry-picking data, and flatly ignoring genetics. As recently as 2022, that same doctor published a paper saying there was no reason to change medical practice around Tylenol. Then, surprise, after a $150,000 payday, he changed his tune.

Even Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal is calling BS, warning that this has less to do with medicine than with a campaign by the trial bar to rescue their losing Tylenol lawsuits in the Second Circuit this fall. Translation: Trump and RFK Jr. are using the White House podium as an infomercial for class-action lawyers.

The cost? Raising public fear about one of the safest, most ubiquitous over-the-counter medicines in the country, when pregnant women already face a gauntlet of disinformation. The Journal ended its editorial with the simplest of medical admonitions: whatever happened to “do no harm”? The answer: it got sold off for a retainer fee.

Then there’s Pete Hegseth, Fox News personality turned cosplay generalissimo, who has apparently decided the Pentagon should double as Pravda. His new 17-page memo requires credentialed reporters to pledge not to publish any information, even unclassified, without Pentagon approval. Step out of line, lose your pass. The backlash was immediate and bipartisan, a Republican congressman called it “so dumb I have a hard time believing it is true.” The New York Times, Reuters, NPR, and the National Press Club all condemned it as an assault on press freedom. Hegseth, unfazed, announced on X that “the press does not run the Pentagon, the people do”, which is rich, given he’s already booted mainstream outlets in favor of Breitbart and OANN, locked journalists out of hallways, and held fewer briefings this year than your average TikTok influencer. The world’s most scrutinized building is being refitted as a Fox News set with better lighting.

And now comes the pièce de résistance: Hegseth has summoned every general and admiral in the U.S. military to Quantico for a filmed “warrior ethos” rally. Officially, it’s about standards and discipline. Unofficially, it looks like a loyalty pageant, the kind of spectacle you’d expect if Fox News tried to reboot Triumph of the Will. What better way to prime the officer corps for Trump’s expansionist fantasies than to gather them in one place, cameras rolling, and remind them who’s boss? This isn’t about haircuts or uniforms. It’s about grooming the military itself for obedience.

And make no mistake: Trump’s vision of “greatness” isn’t limited to tariffs and tweets. He’s mused about “taking Canada back,” as if it were ever ours, floated buying Greenland like it’s prime real estate on Monopoly, and still dreams of reclaiming Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan as a personal monument to undoing Biden. He’s even hinted at “re-securing” the Panama Canal, because nothing screams twenty-first-century strategy like re-litigating Teddy Roosevelt’s glory days. It’s imperial nostalgia dressed up as foreign policy, and it requires a military prepped not for debate, but for deference.

Globally, nearly three-quarters of humanity already lives under authoritarian rule or trending that way. Once upon a time, America styled itself as the counterweight. Today, under Trump, it’s surfing the wave. Petro is punished for dissent. Iran is boxed back into sanctions. The 14th Amendment is treated like campaign merch. Watchdogs are purged. The press is muzzled. And now the generals are summoned to clap on cue. This isn’t a country drifting into authoritarianism by accident. It’s a president selling front-row tickets to the demolition of democracy and daring the world to watch.

And just when you thought the Epstein files couldn’t get any murkier, House Oversight Democrats cracked open another vault from his estate, calendars, ledgers, flight logs, and message notes from the mid-2000s through 2019. The names alone are enough to give Mar-a-Lago indigestion: Peter Thiel penciled in for lunch, Steve Bannon down for breakfast, Elon Musk noted as possibly flying out to “the island,” and Prince Andrew once again confirmed as a frequent flyer on the Lolita Express.

The documents don’t prove these meetings actually happened, but they do prove Epstein was orbiting in the same billionaire-political galaxy as Trump’s current crop of allies. Add in the massage payments and “yoga” appointments scrawled in ledgers with a suspicious “Andrew” attached, and the whole thing reeks of the selective access that money buys and victims pay for.

And here’s where the congressional theater comes in. Democrats are using these releases to push a discharge petition that would force a full floor vote demanding the Justice Department cough up all Epstein files. With the recent Arizona special election, Democrats are poised to hit the magic number: 218. Which is precisely why Speaker Mike Johnson has told Republicans to stay home, even with a government shutdown barreling down. If the House doesn’t gavel in, the new Democrat can’t be sworn in, and the petition stalls. Call it obstruction by recess.

The suspicion is glaring: Johnson isn’t just idling while the lights go out, he’s trying to bottle up a vote that would rip open Epstein’s connections across both parties and, more importantly, inside Trump’s orbit. Keeping the chamber closed seems to be more about saving powerful men from embarrassment. If it looks like stalling to protect the Mar-a-Lago alumni network, that’s because it probably is.

That’s the state of the union this weekend: a president turning the Pentagon into Pravda, grooming generals for empire cosplay, floating lawsuits disguised as medical advice, and watching his allies’ names pop up in Epstein’s day planner like it’s a sick parody of Who’s Who. Congress, meanwhile, can’t even be bothered to clock in because Mike Johnson would rather block a swearing-in than let the truth see daylight.

It’s enough to make anyone want to step away from the screen. Luckily, Marz is lobbying for a beach run before the winter storms lock us in, and frankly, I’m inclined to follow his lead. The tide of authoritarianism may be rising, but the ocean tide is still free, and for a few more afternoons at least, it’s still warm enough to wade in.