I’m glad you had second thoughts about your power move with your daughter. If I may make a suggestion, which I will regardless, ask your daughter why she resists you on these tasks. Listen without judgment. This could be because she at least is getting your attention even though it is while you two are struggling. If you guess that’s the case, even if she doesn’t say exactly that, you might promise her 15 minutes or so of your undivided attention. Would help you as well to feel a meaningful connection in the midst of the chaos you face. PS, I love your writing.
Shanley, I think you are doing great! All of us who were young parents remember those days of not feeling like we were "enough", and yet you pull it all together admirably by the end of each jam-packed day. If only the current regime were as responsible....
After just learning we do not have the right to clean water, or to the truth about the state of said water, I see no reason to be optimistic about the truth about the air. I doubt there will be any blowback on hiding it now.
Perhaps, now and then, a sharper response than what is normally given is an opportunity...take it as you will, your daughter is not a full-grown negotiator, and sometimes negotiation is not the appropriate tool in a given moment. I once worked with a woman who seemed, to me, to hate me. I spoke my truth to her power: "You seem to object to the fact that I breathe...", and she became kind. You AND your daughter have truth and power; don't confuse one with the other; you are the Grownup and, as such, know certain things she does not yet.
Don’t worry, sweet mama. If you get it right even 51% of the time you’re on the winning side. We all use behavior we wish we could take back. The love comes through and that is what matters.❤️ I speak as a mother of a 47 yo, a 44 yo and a child that died at 39. We still laugh at our games of Life that ended with me slamming the board shut after the kids wouldn’t stop fighting! Hug your kids and apologize if you feel your behavior was wrong and then talk it out. You are not a failure. You’re just tired. Lucky for us parents, if you lead with love and take responsibility for your actions, kids are the most forgiving creatures on earth.❤️
As the walker increases in stamina, the bottle throwing might escalate to targets other than the floor. Cries of 'Dottle!' followed by a crash should be rapidly responded to. Also the capsizing of the cot has been known to happen in some lax houses due to dancing accompanying cries of 'Dottle'. In my day, the slats used to splinter and a solid racketing would make the legs fall off.
I’m glad you had second thoughts about your power move with your daughter. If I may make a suggestion, which I will regardless, ask your daughter why she resists you on these tasks. Listen without judgment. This could be because she at least is getting your attention even though it is while you two are struggling. If you guess that’s the case, even if she doesn’t say exactly that, you might promise her 15 minutes or so of your undivided attention. Would help you as well to feel a meaningful connection in the midst of the chaos you face. PS, I love your writing.
Is how responsibly to question authority not the hardest lesson to teach a young one?
Great writing, love it. Always worth reading!
Shanley, I think you are doing great! All of us who were young parents remember those days of not feeling like we were "enough", and yet you pull it all together admirably by the end of each jam-packed day. If only the current regime were as responsible....
After just learning we do not have the right to clean water, or to the truth about the state of said water, I see no reason to be optimistic about the truth about the air. I doubt there will be any blowback on hiding it now.
Perhaps, now and then, a sharper response than what is normally given is an opportunity...take it as you will, your daughter is not a full-grown negotiator, and sometimes negotiation is not the appropriate tool in a given moment. I once worked with a woman who seemed, to me, to hate me. I spoke my truth to her power: "You seem to object to the fact that I breathe...", and she became kind. You AND your daughter have truth and power; don't confuse one with the other; you are the Grownup and, as such, know certain things she does not yet.
Well done, Shanley. You are doing a great job on all the fronts that need your attention.
Don’t worry, sweet mama. If you get it right even 51% of the time you’re on the winning side. We all use behavior we wish we could take back. The love comes through and that is what matters.❤️ I speak as a mother of a 47 yo, a 44 yo and a child that died at 39. We still laugh at our games of Life that ended with me slamming the board shut after the kids wouldn’t stop fighting! Hug your kids and apologize if you feel your behavior was wrong and then talk it out. You are not a failure. You’re just tired. Lucky for us parents, if you lead with love and take responsibility for your actions, kids are the most forgiving creatures on earth.❤️
As the walker increases in stamina, the bottle throwing might escalate to targets other than the floor. Cries of 'Dottle!' followed by a crash should be rapidly responded to. Also the capsizing of the cot has been known to happen in some lax houses due to dancing accompanying cries of 'Dottle'. In my day, the slats used to splinter and a solid racketing would make the legs fall off.