The Gospel According to Trump: Lies, Lust, and “Liberty”

From Bible-thumping at dawn to Epstein’s birthday note at dusk, the adjudicated sexual predator asks America to pray while proving once again that deceit is his only true religion.

Donald Trump spent his morning bathing in applause at the Museum of the Bible, framed by stained glass and sycophants. “We are one nation under God, and we always will be,” he proclaimed, before launching into the kind of overwrought sermonette you’d expect from a televangelist trying to fill a jet-fuel budget.

He told the faithful: “To have a great nation, you have to have religion. I believe that so strongly.” He promised that his Department of Education would issue “new guidance protecting the right to prayer in our public schools. And it’s total protection.” He vowed to defend “the Judeo-Christian principles of our founding” and thundered, “We have to bring back religion in America. Bring it back stronger than ever before.”

All this while he basked in the glow of his “Trump family Bible” now placed on display, “used in both my inaugurations,” he said proudly, as if the fingerprints of a con man elevated the Word of God.