The Gold Standard of Stupidity

Trump’s $500 Million Bet on a 1940s Vaccine, Settling with Insurrectionists, and Making the Poor Pay Again.

Good morning! Let’s start where the absurd meets the authoritarian: with Donald Trump reopening Alcatraz. Not metaphorically, literally. The former prison island is to be retrofitted to house what Trump calls “the worst of the worst”, which, given his definitions, likely means protestors, whistleblowers, and anyone who uses the word “climate.” The executive order is light on details but rich in fascist flair. “High-risk traitors and terrorists,” he wrote, leaving just enough ambiguity for his followers to fantasize about packing it with Fauci, Merrick Garland, or that barista who refuses to say “Merry Christmas.”

Meanwhile, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson sounded the alarm in Puerto Rico, calling on judges to resist threats and intimidation tactics. She didn’t mention Trump by name, but she didn’t have to. Trump’s hostility toward the judiciary is so pronounced it’s practically a plank in his second-term platform. From floating prosecutions of judges to encouraging harassment of their families, the regime’s contempt for law runs deep, even as it tries to rebrand mob violence as patriotism.

Nowhere is that rebranding more obscene than in the administration’s decision to settle a $30 million lawsuit with the family of Ashley Babbitt, the woman shot while breaching the Speaker’s Lobby during the January 6 coup attempt. Babbitt, a former service member turned insurrectionist battering ram, has become a martyr in Trumpworld, proof that treason only counts if you lose. Lieutenant Michael Byrd, the officer who shot her while defending lawmakers still trapped in the chamber, has been cleared of any wrongdoing. But that doesn’t matter. Trump needed a headline for the base and a checkmark on his martyrdom spreadsheet. So now the U.S. taxpayer, yes, you is paying the tab for a woman Trump incited, radicalized, and effectively marched into a fatal confrontation with law enforcement. Cronyism meets cult worship. National dignity not included.

But Trump’s contempt for working Americans doesn’t stop there. Today, his Department of Education resumed aggressive collections on defaulted student loans, setting its sights on more than 5 million borrowers, many of them barely scraping by. Their tax refunds, Social Security benefits, and even paychecks are now on the chopping block. Credit scores are expected to nosedive, some by as much as 170 points. And if you're wondering whether the department has staffed up to handle this wave of desperation, think again: Trump gutted it. Callers are waiting up to eight hours to speak with someone, assuming they get through at all. This from the guy who has personally stiffed more lenders than a Vegas casino, filed six or seven bankruptcies, and still expects deference on financial policy.

Speaking of delusional economics, let’s talk about Trump’s latest pandemic preparedness move, a $500 million grant for a universal flu vaccine that experts describe as “mind-blowing” in its obsolescence. The so-called Generation Gold Standard vaccine is being developed using 1940s technology, inactivated with a chemical so old it comes with a carcinogen warning. It was selected over more than 200 other, more advanced candidates without a single peer-reviewed human trial. Why? Because the project is being run by Trump loyalists newly appointed to NIH leadership. One was elevated after helping gut the agency, firing over 1,200 employees, and killing $2 billion in competitive science grants. Cronyism and magical thinking, it’s not just a governing philosophy anymore, it’s a public health strategy.

And if you thought all this was just a fever dream, let’s ground it in something more concrete: Newark Airport. Trump’s transportation staffing cuts are finally catching up with reality, with whistleblowers warning the airport may no longer be safe to fly in or out of. When a man who brags about building “beautiful runways” can’t even keep a control tower staffed, you know we’re deep in the banana republic arc.

Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller has unveiled an education agenda that critics argue represents ideological indoctrination. In a recent briefing, Miller stated:

“Children will be taught to love America. Children will be taught to be patriots. Children will be taught civic values for schools that want federal taxpayer funding.”

This directive is part of a broader executive order signed by President Trump, tasking Education Secretary Linda McMahon with efforts to dismantle the Department of Education and return control to states and local communities. Miller further emphasized the administration’s opposition to critical race theory and gender identity education, labeling such practices as harmful and characterizing gender-affirming policies without parental consent as "child abuse."

And for those who want to resist this chaos with their wallet, Trump’s allies have launched PublicSquare.com, a MAGA-friendly loyalty marketplace where vendors must pass an ideological purity test to get listed. Think of it as Yelp for fascists, curated by the far-right for the far-right. It’s branded as “cancel-proof commerce,” which really means a digital Rolodex of businesses that’ve pledged allegiance to the Trump agenda. Donald Trump Jr. sits on the board, adding just the right amount of nepotistic sleaze. For those tracking creeping authoritarianism, this isn’t just a tool for MAGA to support itself; it’s also a handy guide for which businesses to avoid if you’re not keen on financing the slow-motion dismantling of democracy. Just enter your zip code, and you’ll get a curated list of local businesses that proudly support forced birth, unchecked surveillance, and the end of due process.

Internationally, the trade front is cracking. Japan is openly threatening to dump its trillion dollars in U.S. Treasury holdings if Trump doesn’t back off his tariff war. That’s not economic nationalism; that’s debt-leveraged Russian roulette. As economist Derek Thompson warned last week, Trump’s trade policies are so unstable they make the Fed look like a fortune-teller hotline.

Finally, we return to the American working class, once again footing the bill in silence. The poor always pay first, whether through wage garnishment, lottery tickets, or payday loans. In the spirit of The Grapes of Wrath, we remind readers of Ma Joad’s enduring wisdom: “Rich fellas come up and die, and their kids ain’t no good and they die out. But we keep a-comin’, don’t we?” That’s the America Trump’s trying to extinguish: compassionate, communal, and irrepressibly alive.

But we’re still here. And we’re not done fighting.