Storm Systems and Soft Coups

While tornadoes threaten the Midwest, Trump collects foreign jets, fires FEMA leaders, sells sci-fi to sheikhs, and rewrites the rule of law with a stubby pencil.

Good morning! As tornadoes barrel toward the Midwest and tens of millions prepare for what may be the most violent stretch of spring weather yet, the Trump administration remains laser-focused on its true priorities: helping Elon Musk sell humanoid robot fantasies to Gulf royalty, defending the constitutional right of one aging billionaire to accept a $400 million jet from a Qatari regime accused of funding terrorism, retaliating against judges who refuse to play along, suppressing vote-by-mail in Oregon, and lashing out at House Democrats bold enough to raise the I-word again. The winds outside are terrifying, but inside the Beltway, the real storm is the collapse of governing into spectacle, grift, and vengeance.

As if the Qatari jet weren’t enough, Trump also announced this week he’s lifting sanctions on Syria, a country whose regime has long been accused of human rights atrocities and links to al-Qaeda affiliates. Why the sudden thaw with Damascus? Syrian dictator Ahmed Hussein al-Sharaa promised to build a Trump Tower in Damascus. Within 24 hours, sanctions were dropped. Just like that. Trump didn’t mention the war crimes, the chemical weapons, or the mass graves. What mattered was the branding opportunity. He further lavished praise on Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, whose hobbies include jailing dissidents and dismembering journalists. (A claim denied by the kingdom). This is what American diplomacy looks like now: real estate deals with war criminals and public loyalty to princes who clap at the right moment. Canada gets insulted. Europe gets ignored. But if you’ve got oil money, a tower-shaped parcel of land, or a gold jet? Trump’s at your service.

You read that right. The president who gutted FEMA, proposed cutting SNAP by $290 billion, and is currently trying to eliminate Medicaid for over 42 million Americans, is now justifying his new gold-plated aircraft as a patriotic gift, "not to me,” Trump insists, “but to the Air Force.” Never mind that the jet will eventually land in his private presidential library and be maintained on the taxpayers’ dime. Never mind that FEMA’s climate response division has been gutted and many regional response units folded into “efficiency zones” overseen by DOGE. Trump is busy collecting toys.

And speaking of toys: Elon Musk is in Saudi Arabia, dancing robots in tow, selling the fantasy of “tens of billions” of humanoid machines that will 10x the global economy and usher in a golden age of “universal high income.” Yes, that’s the phrase. Not basic income, high income. Musk, who has reportedly laid off safety teams, is now promising C-3POs in every home, warp tunnels under every city, and AI that will help us finally understand the universe. His “truth-seeking” chatbot Grok was not invited to the party; it had the temerity to correct his disinformation about Soros-funded protesters, and Musk is now rage-posting about it.

Meanwhile, Tesla’s robotaxi program is supposedly weeks away from launch in Texas, though U.S. safety regulators still have no concrete data and suspect Musk will soon blame the delay on bureaucracy. The Boring Company, which Musk pitched to the Saudis again this week, is still just a tunnel under a Vegas parking lot.

Back on Earth, the first federal court hearing on Trump’s sweeping “Liberation Day” tariffs played out like a parody of legal reasoning. Trump’s lawyers argued that trade deficits qualify as a national emergency under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, an act that only allows such powers in response to an “unusual and extraordinary threat.” Judge Jane Restani dryly noted that, under this standard, even a shortage of peanut butter could justify tariffs. She wasn’t joking.

The court appeared skeptical of both sides: Trump’s team for arguing the president’s power is unreviewable, and the plaintiffs’ counsel for failing to define a clear standard for what counts as “extraordinary.” Still, all signs point to the court eventually ruling against the tariffs, though the Trump administration could simply reissue them through a different legal mechanism. As always, the grift adapts.

And speaking of adaptation, Stephen Miller is now pushing the legal envelope on suspending habeas corpus. You heard that right. Citing a so-called “immigration invasion,” Miller is reportedly drafting language to allow mass detentions without judicial review, an act that has only occurred during wartime or rebellion, and only with congressional approval. Legal experts are already warning that this would trigger a constitutional crisis. One judge likened the rationale to “turning immigration enforcement into Guantánamo with bus tickets.”

Over in the House, Rep. Shri Thanedar of Michigan introduced a new impeachment resolution against Donald Trump, setting off a predictable MAGA tantrum. Republicans tried to shout him down on the floor, literally, with Rep. Joe Wilson bellowing “Stop talking!” as Thanedar began reading the charges. While the resolution is unlikely to advance in a GOP-controlled chamber, the moment revealed something far more important: they’re scared. Not of the vote, but of the facts. Trump has already been impeached twice and now governs under a shadow of open lawlessness. The MAGA response isn’t to refute the allegations. It’s to muzzle the accuser.

And in Wisconsin, the regime’s contempt for the judiciary became literal. Judge Hannah Dugan, a Milwaukee County jurist, was indicted this week by a federal grand jury for allegedly helping an undocumented immigrant avoid ICE agents inside her courtroom. The indictment, thin and suspiciously timed, comes as Trumpworld ramps up its campaign to criminalize judges who resist executive overreach. Dugan’s supporters describe the charges as political theater, a message to every judge who dares to act independently: you will be punished. Her arraignment is set for May 15. As one legal analyst put it: “They’re trying to turn the gavel into a leash.”

Meanwhile, here in Oregon, the GOP is testing how far the Big Lie can stretch before it snaps. State Senator David Brock Smith, a Port Orford Republican, has introduced a bill to repeal Oregon’s vote-by-mail system, a system Oregonians approved by a landslide in 1998 and have used without scandal ever since. The bill would force residents back to in-person voting, citing “security concerns” that trace straight back to debunked 2020 election conspiracies. Thousands of Oregonians have already submitted written opposition, flooding the legislature’s comment portal. This isn’t about ballots, it’s a referendum on reality, and the right’s desire to rewrite it one precinct at a time.

All of this happens while large swaths of the Midwest brace for EF-3 tornadoes, golf ball-sized hail, and widespread blackouts. If you’re wondering what’s left of FEMA to handle all this, meet David Richardson, the newly installed “Senior Official Performing the Duties of FEMA Administrator”, which is government-speak for a Trump loyalist dropped in without Senate confirmation. In his first all-hands meeting, Richardson, an ex-Marine with a flair for martial arts analogies and desk-free leadership, told staff, “Don’t get in my way.” Anyone who dares to delay, question, or “undermine” his mission will be “run over,” he said, because he will “achieve the president’s intent.” That intent, for those keeping score, involves dismantling FEMA, shifting responsibility to the states, and achieving “cost-sharing” efficiencies right before hurricane season. The previous acting administrator, Cameron Hamilton, was fired for saying out loud that eliminating FEMA was a bad idea. And now we’re governed by a man who boasts, “I have never read a book on leadership,” but promises to operate FEMA with a stubby pencil and a stack of unread memos. He does not stop at yield signs.

So here we are. Dancing robots on desert runways. Tornadoes on the plains. Medicaid is on the chopping block. And Trump, half-asleep at a Saudi ceremony, still clutching a gold shovel for whatever grave he intends to dig next.

The regime isn’t collapsing with a bang. It’s wheezing, stumbling, tweeting, and pirouetting into absurdity.