Paper Tigers and Real Consequences

Zelenskyy calls out Trump’s empty bluster as missiles fall on Kyiv, and I trade geopolitics for Cane Corso bribery, and coaxing a grandson’s arrival.

Good morning! The coffee is hot, the sweater is on, and the fingerless gloves are typing as we check in once again on the grand demolition derby otherwise known as the Trump regime. Today’s top entry: a federal judge has finally smacked down Donald Trump’s latest attempt to turn the United States into a deportation conveyor belt. In a scathing opinion, Judge Jia Cobb reminded the White House that due process is not a suggestion; it’s the law. Trump wanted to expand “expedited removal” deep into the country, bypassing hearings and tossing people out on accusation alone. Cobb’s opinion could have been a civics class lecture: if the government can strip someone of liberty simply by claiming they crossed the border unlawfully, then no one is safe. It’s banana republic logic with a MAGA hat on, and for once the courts said, “absolutely not.”

Trump’s contempt for law isn’t confined to immigration. Just yesterday, a federal appeals court ruled that most of his beloved global tariffs are unlawful, and the reasoning couldn’t be clearer: under the Constitution, only Congress has the authority to impose taxes and regulate trade. Trump tried to grab that power for himself by citing “emergency” authorities, but the judges weren’t buying it. Investors are spooked, Caterpillar is warning of billion-dollar losses, and yet Trump clings to tariffs like a toddler to a blankie, insisting they’re a magical cash machine. The real decision now goes to the Supreme Court, which will decide whether Trump gets to keep reimagining trade law on the fly, or whether the separation of powers still means anything at all.

Inside the White House, the paranoia has grown so thick you could butter toast with it. After purging career officials and anyone who looked sideways at him, Trump is now firing the very people he appointed. His CDC director was ousted barely a month after Senate confirmation. At FEMA, staff who warned that his reorganization plan could trigger a Katrina-level disaster were suspended en masse. At the EPA, scientists who signed a dissent letter were marched out. IRS Commissioner Billy Long was shoved aside after refusing to hand immigrant tax data over to the White House. And then there’s Tulsi Gabbard, the unlikely spymaster who’s now increasingly sidelined after her reckless purge of intelligence officials backfired spectacularly. It’s less an administration than a circular firing squad, with Trump spinning in the middle like a man locked in a hall of mirrors who thinks every reflection is plotting his downfall.

And yet, when Trump himself vanishes for days on end, no rallies, no golf swings, only the occasional half-coherent Truth Social tantrum, the void must be filled somehow. Enter Stephen Miller. Yes, that Stephen Miller, dragged back into the spotlight to flash a fang about “street thugs” in Chicago. Asked directly whether Trump had considered invoking the Insurrection Act, Miller dodged, instead seizing the moment to sermonize that “the Democrat party as an institution at every level, its judges, its lawyers, its community activists, and its politicians exists to serve these criminal thugs.” In Miller’s dystopian tale, Democrats aren’t just soft on crime; they’re actively aiding it.

He thundered that “every American city should be safe and free from this organized horrific bloody street violence that we have tolerated for too long,” before pledging that Trump “stands ready to help and assist any community that wishes to be liberated from these criminal elements.” Notice what wasn’t there: any actual plan. Just recycled scare talk about deploying the National Guard, a vague promise to “liberate” cities, and enough authoritarian cosplay to fill the airtime until Trump resurfaces. When you’re leaning on Miller to reassure the nation, you’ve officially run out of ideas.

And lest you think authoritarianism is just a domestic hobby, the administration has announced that immigrants seeking green cards will now be screened for “anti-Americanism.” No definition, no limits, just an ideological purity test out of the McCarthy-era scrapbook. Do you hold the wrong opinion? Sorry, no residency for you. Imagine Ellis Island with a sign overhead reading, “Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Tweeted Against the Regime.”

If that weren’t enough, the Social Security Administration is now hemorrhaging credibility thanks to Elon Musk’s pet project, the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, because apparently democracy dies not with a bang but with a meme coin. Charles Borges, the SSA’s chief data officer, quit in disgust after blowing the whistle that DOGE had uploaded the personal information of more than 300 million Americans, yes, the entire country, to the digital cloud. Birthdates, identifiers, all the good stuff for identity thieves, copied without oversight and parked where no one knows exactly who has access. Borges described a “culture of panic and dread,” leadership ignoring court orders, and security protocols treated like suggestions. Official spokespeople assure us the data hasn’t been compromised. Of course, they also assured us Trump’s tariffs were lawful and his deportation schemes constitutional. Sleep well, America.

Abroad, the rot spreads with equal zeal. The Trump administration, through Secretary of State Marco Rubio, is barring senior Palestinian Authority and PLO officials, including President Mahmoud Abbas, from attending the upcoming UN General Assembly in New York. Palestinian representatives already accredited to the UN mission will still be allowed in under the host-country agreement, but the move has sparked outrage from allies who are lining up to recognize a Palestinian state. It’s a diplomatic own-goal so blatant even the referees are shaking their heads.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy, standing amid one of Russia’s deadliest barrages in months, tore into Trump’s delusion that Vladimir Putin is ready to “make a deal.” The attack killed nineteen civilians, four of them children, and hit diplomatic buildings belonging to the European Union and the United Kingdom. “Russia is now attacking everyone in the world who seeks peace,” Zelenskyy declared, his tone a mixture of grief and fury. “This is a strike against Ukraine. This is a strike against Europe. It is also a strike by Russia against President Trump and other global actors.”

The Ukrainian president mocked Trump’s fantasy of Putin the dealmaker. “In Washington, we heard that Putin is supposedly ready to end the war… but he chooses ballistic missiles over any real steps toward peace. He kills children in order not to talk about when and how peace will come.”

The Trump White House twisted itself into knots to defend Putin. When asked about the missile strikes, Trump’s press secretary Caroline Levitt downplayed the carnage with a jaw-dropping shrug: “Both sides have their issues. It’s not like Ukraine’s just innocent in this thing.” That grotesque equivocation drew immediate fire from Ukrainian commentators who noted that Russia deliberately buries families under rubble, while Ukraine targets oil depots and ammunition factories. “We are living in an era of phenomenal shamelessness,” wrote Ilia Ponomarenko of the Kyiv Independent.

Europe’s leaders, by contrast, were blunt. NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte sent condolences, and European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen pledged a 19th sanctions package. Giorgia Meloni, Italy’s prime minister, stood with Zelenskyy. Even Portugal’s president dropped diplomatic niceties entirely, labeling Trump a “Putin asset,” nothing more than a Soviet satellite in a cheap suit.

Sir Malcolm Rifkind, the former UK foreign secretary, went further, diagnosing Trump as a global liability: “If this was China, they would say he’s a paper tiger. Someone who sounds fierce but is toothless at the end of the event. And that is very disturbing.” Rifkind reminded the world that Trump once believed his sheer “force of personality” would make Kim Jong-un surrender nuclear weapons. “It was absurd,” he said. “Trump learns nothing because he surrounds himself with sycophants.”

For Zelenskyy, the message to the West was unmistakable: “The world must restore the power of international law and respect for the principles of the UN Charter.” His call was not for words but for pressure, sanctions, tariffs, and pain inflicted daily on Putin until the killing stops. In Kyiv, mourners laid flowers for the children Russia slaughtered while Trump’s aides muttered about “both sides.” The contrast could not be starker: Europe is planning its 19th sanctions package; Trump is still Putin’s paper tiger.

Even in the rubble, comic relief emerges. Gavin Newsom continues his Olympic-level trolling of the regime, needling Trump with a smirk so polished it could cut glass. And in the darker corners of the internet, a new nickname for the missing-in-action president has emerged: “Metamucillini.” It’s almost too perfect. Benito had his balcony. Donald’s got his bathroom cabinet and golden toilet. The strongman of the hour hasn’t been seen in days, leading to speculation about bunker paranoia or simple digestive scheduling conflicts. Either way, Metamucillini has entered the chat, and one suspects it will stick.

So there you have it: a regime that wants deportations without hearings, tariffs without law, data without safeguards, diplomacy without allies, and governance without accountability. America didn’t vote for a clearance sale on constitutional rights, but that’s exactly what Trump is running, and business, for now, is booming.

Marz refused to cooperate with yesterday’s planned photo shoot. Instead of presenting himself in all his Cane Corso magnificence, he insisted on tending to his doggo social media duties, sniffing, leg lifting, more sniffing. A cookie bribe in the sunroom produced the one semi-regal shot I could manage. Today I’m trading the chaos of geopolitics for a gentler mission: treating my very pregnant daughter to a mani-pedi and lunch. With any luck, a spicy dish might persuade my new grandson to make his debut.