You are welcome. I sent your essay to a friend of mine whom I thought would love it, and she did. She replied, "Today I had a conversation with my six year old grandson. He did not like the tax that was added to his purchase of a birthday card for his mom. (He was paying with his own money) It opened up a conversation as to what taxes do. We had an honest conversation - at his level - and he agreed he wanted to help pay for his school, and the fireman. He learned something of the way of our world at just the level he could understand. The article reinforced my belief system in how to love my grandchildren."
Very important advice regarding questions I’ve often asked myself… what do we say to the children? My daughter is allowing - encouraging - her 4 year old to cry out his frustration. That’s a start. To acknowledge that his feelings are valid.
A few years ago my oldest son was really struggling with feeling angry and acting on his anger in ways that I wouldn't consider constructive, I read something then and it has sat with me since: “The more you fight an emotion, the more power it has over you. The more you accept it, the easier it is to choose your action.” This quote is from Dr. Steven Hayes the founder of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) I have found that a lot of the work he did and the work from Dr. Russ Harris who really popularized ACT helped me better understand how to approach parenting.
“Hope says that what happens next has not been fully decided, which means what we do still matters.” Beautiful and true. I’d love to see this become a rallying cry of every candidate facing a MAGA opponent.
Good on you Shanley in parenting with honesty! It is so hard. Yet I remember the early civil rights demonstrations and the 'cold war' when we ducked under our desks to practice a nuclear bomb falling! There are always fearful as well as joyful parts of childhood and parenting. I also knew a fairyland forest as a child in a Camp Fire Girls' Camp Kilowan somewhere in the Coast range, I think above Corvallis. We got picked up in a school bus in Dallas and I never paid much attention as to exactly where it went. The Fairyland rules we had there were that every thing we used to build fairy houses and 'landscaping' had to come from the forest floor. It was located in a stand of old growth trees. The fairies didn't like to go near 'human made' things. They especially liked small stone 'fire rings' with tiny wood piles beside them and little chairs made from cones, moss, and leaves.
Thank you for sharing this, LeeAnn. My sister and I had our fair share of fairy adventures as kids, she taught me about the whimsical worlds and little fairy houses under fallen leaves. My hope is to give the same to my children, but especially to my daughter, not because the others are less deserving, but because I see something in her that reminds me of those days with my sister, a familiarity of sorts, I've never quite been able to place why or what it is, but I know I need to nurture it.
Profound observations. I have argued each of them with myself throughout my long lifetime. I doubt that representative democracy is dying. I feel it did not spring forth with all its features
having been formed in miniature during a gestation period, so it is unlikely to keel over as long as you, I, and many others like us are still alive and voting.
That is some truly wonderful and inspiring writing. I feel so fortunate to have found this website. You guys are daily required reading.
Thank you!
You are welcome. I sent your essay to a friend of mine whom I thought would love it, and she did. She replied, "Today I had a conversation with my six year old grandson. He did not like the tax that was added to his purchase of a birthday card for his mom. (He was paying with his own money) It opened up a conversation as to what taxes do. We had an honest conversation - at his level - and he agreed he wanted to help pay for his school, and the fireman. He learned something of the way of our world at just the level he could understand. The article reinforced my belief system in how to love my grandchildren."
This comment warmed my heart. Thank you for sharing, John.
Very important advice regarding questions I’ve often asked myself… what do we say to the children? My daughter is allowing - encouraging - her 4 year old to cry out his frustration. That’s a start. To acknowledge that his feelings are valid.
A few years ago my oldest son was really struggling with feeling angry and acting on his anger in ways that I wouldn't consider constructive, I read something then and it has sat with me since: “The more you fight an emotion, the more power it has over you. The more you accept it, the easier it is to choose your action.” This quote is from Dr. Steven Hayes the founder of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) I have found that a lot of the work he did and the work from Dr. Russ Harris who really popularized ACT helped me better understand how to approach parenting.
Thank you, Shanley. I think it is important that we always tell our children the truth, whatever that truth might be. They will remember.
Thank you, Carletta. I believe that is true, I certainly remember.
“Hope says that what happens next has not been fully decided, which means what we do still matters.” Beautiful and true. I’d love to see this become a rallying cry of every candidate facing a MAGA opponent.
Good on you Shanley in parenting with honesty! It is so hard. Yet I remember the early civil rights demonstrations and the 'cold war' when we ducked under our desks to practice a nuclear bomb falling! There are always fearful as well as joyful parts of childhood and parenting. I also knew a fairyland forest as a child in a Camp Fire Girls' Camp Kilowan somewhere in the Coast range, I think above Corvallis. We got picked up in a school bus in Dallas and I never paid much attention as to exactly where it went. The Fairyland rules we had there were that every thing we used to build fairy houses and 'landscaping' had to come from the forest floor. It was located in a stand of old growth trees. The fairies didn't like to go near 'human made' things. They especially liked small stone 'fire rings' with tiny wood piles beside them and little chairs made from cones, moss, and leaves.
Thank you for sharing this, LeeAnn. My sister and I had our fair share of fairy adventures as kids, she taught me about the whimsical worlds and little fairy houses under fallen leaves. My hope is to give the same to my children, but especially to my daughter, not because the others are less deserving, but because I see something in her that reminds me of those days with my sister, a familiarity of sorts, I've never quite been able to place why or what it is, but I know I need to nurture it.
So well written, with just the right amount of seasoning.
Wow, Shanley, Very heavy reading! And yes we must tell our children the truth!
Profound observations. I have argued each of them with myself throughout my long lifetime. I doubt that representative democracy is dying. I feel it did not spring forth with all its features
having been formed in miniature during a gestation period, so it is unlikely to keel over as long as you, I, and many others like us are still alive and voting.