Good Morning! Is California soft-seceding?

As the country reels from economic sabotage, international chaos, and billionaires playing messiah on social media, one thing is becoming painfully clear: California may be the last adult in the room, and Gavin Newsom just poured himself a triple espresso and started drafting his own foreign policy.

In a move that’s part constitutional dare, part soft-secession, Newsom declared that California won’t be following Trump’s "Liberation Day" tariffs, which have detonated markets, delayed critical imports, and introduced the largest tax hike on working families in over 50 years. “California is not Washington, D.C.,” he posted defiantly, as if someone had just challenged him to a duel with spreadsheets and carbon credits. He’s now openly courting China, Canada, and Mexico to forge trade partnerships directly with the state, treaty-adjacent, sure, but not quite treaties. It’s all technically illegal-ish, but deeply Californian.

With 40 million residents and a $3.9 trillion economy, California is the fifth-largest economy in the world, richer than India, the UK, or France. So when Newsom says, “We’re not standing idly by,” it’s not just political theater. It’s a constitutional stress test. Trump’s Commerce Secretary, Howard Lutnick, is unlikely to approve exemptions, but Newsom’s making clear: If D.C. won’t lead, Sacramento might.

And speaking of people who think they’re leading, Elon Musk is back in full martyr mode. In a 24-hour spiral of posts, Musk accused Senator Chuck Schumer of benefitting from “government fraud” and declared, during a Fox News segment, that unnamed forces want to “kill [him]” for stopping waste and corruption. It’s hard to keep track of whether Musk is fighting the deep state or just rage-quitting Path of Exile again after losing to a tutor. Either way, he’s tweeting like a man who thinks he’s Neo from The Matrix but is coming off more like Tommy Wiseau with WiFi.

Meanwhile, the real corruption Musk refuses to see is happening right next door. At a Democratic-led shadow hearing (yes, that’s a real thing now), former DOJ pardon attorney Liz Oyer testified that she was fired for refusing to help Mel Gibson get his gun rights back. What followed was a whirlwind of intimidation, including a letter delivered by armed U.S. Marshals while her teenage child was home alone. It was a scene straight out of a dystopian drama, only this one stars Todd Blanche, Trump’s former lawyer turned Deputy AG, playing enforcer for the regime. Oyer’s defiance was clear: “I will not be bullied into concealing the ongoing corruption and abuse of power at the Department of Justice.”

And just when you thought this trade war couldn’t get any more surreal, the Chinese Embassy itself joined the roast, quoting none other than Ronald Reagan to mock Trump’s tariffs.

“The most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”

Yes, that’s a Reagan quote being weaponized by a foreign power to highlight the absurdity of Trump’s “America First” economic sabotage. When even Beijing is dragging you with conservative icons, maybe it’s time to admit your strategy is less “4D chess” and more “throw the board off the table and blame immigrants.”

Down in Texas, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. shocked his anti-vax loyalists by endorsing the MMR vaccine during a deadly measles outbreak, prompting howls of betrayal from the same crew that helped launch him into office. Dr. Magnetism herself, Sherri Tenpenny, said there was “no excuse” for such a “poorly worded statement.” Del Bigtree is in denial, insisting Kennedy’s post “got cut off,” while others are crying foul over what they see as a full establishment heel-turn. It’s a twist so sharp it could rupture a spleen. But don’t worry, Kennedy tried to make it up to them by promoting budesonide and clarithromycin, neither of which treat measles and both of which might do more harm than good. If this is pandemic Redux, we’re watching the remix with worse DJs.

And for those still wondering how all this affects regular people: Ask Bradley Bartell, a Trump voter who just spent six weeks fighting to free his wife Camila Muñoz from ICE detention after their honeymoon. Camila overstayed a visa during the pandemic lockdown and has no criminal record. That didn’t stop ICE from detaining her for 49 days without charges, without a court date, and shipping her to Louisiana, far from her home in Wisconsin. Bartell drove 15 hours to see her, paid a $3,000 bond, and now questions everything. “Why not use an ankle monitor?” he asked. It’s a good question, especially in a country where mass fraud is forgiven on Wall Street, but marriage to a citizen gets you imprisoned.

Markets are collapsing. Trade partners are retaliating. Measles is killing children again. And Elon Musk is broadcasting live from inside his own persecution complex while operating a federal surveillance agency with no oversight. Meanwhile, California is flirting with the idea of being its own country, and at this rate, who could blame them?

This is not politics as usual. It’s a stress test on every American institution, and the cracks are showing in real time. From public health to immigration to the rule of law, the system isn’t just wobbling, it’s being hollowed out, co-opted, and streamed for clicks.

Stay focused. Stay loud. Stay sane.