Genocide, Justice, and… Terrazzo?

From Gaza to Ukraine to Epstein’s files, real leaders called for accountability at the UN while Trump complained about flooring and tried to muzzle late-night comedians.

Good morning! The West Coast sky may still be dark as I write this, but the United Nations lit up yesterday with speeches that would have made even the translators clutch their Advil. While the world’s leaders delivered moral clarity on war, genocide, and democracy, Donald Trump did what Donald Trump does best: brag about his imaginary Nobel Prize credentials, ramble about “seven wars,” and then sulk because everyone else is talking about principles while he’s stuck defending Netanyahu and doodling in Epstein’s scrapbook.

Let’s start with the heavy hitters. Jordan’s King Abdullah took the podium and turned it into a pulpit, hammering home the “yet again” cycle of Palestinian suffering: “Yet again bombed indiscriminately. Yet again killed, injured and maimed. Yet again displaced and dispossessed. Yet again denied rights, dignity, their basic humanity. Yet again, so I must ask, how long?” His speech was a thunderclap: Gaza as genocide, Greater Israel as a recipe for religious war, statehood as a right not a bargaining chip. “Statehood is not something Palestinians need to earn. It is not a reward. It is an indisputable right.”

Ireland’s prime minister followed with the kind of speech that can only come from a country that has lived through conflict. Invoking the Northern Ireland peace process, he reminded the chamber that leaders have a duty to “keep the flame of hope alive” even in the darkest days. Then he turned to Gaza with the blunt force of statistics: “More than 65,000 people killed in Gaza. Horrifically, more than 20,000 of them children. The use of food as a weapon of war… hospitals attacked, homes and schools destroyed… we have reached a point where what has been incredibly described as a genocide is being carried out in front of the eyes of the world.”

Both leaders made it crystal clear: statehood for Palestine is not a gift to Hamas. It’s overdue justice. And while they were speaking in the register of statesmanship, Trump was complaining that the UN’s escalator stopped, his teleprompter broke, and the building used “terrazzo instead of marble.” One side is pleading for the survival of international law; the other is whining about interior decorating.

Finland’s Alexander Stubb brought Nordic bluntness to the Security Council. He didn’t bury the lede: the “root cause” of Ukraine’s war is not NATO expansion or complex geopolitics, it’s Russia violating the UN Charter. Period. He laid out a two-phase plan: ceasefire, then negotiations. Trump, by contrast, delivered his usual word salad about “seven wars” he personally ended, without noticing that the adults in the room were actually sketching out peace. France’s Emmanuel Macron even trolled him outright: if Trump wants that Nobel Prize so badly, he should maybe, just maybe, stop the war in Gaza.

Lula of Brazil, reminded everyone that “would-be autocrats” can be defeated, a neat way of saying “Bolsonaro’s sentenced to 27 years for trying a coup, maybe take notes.” Trump responded with the usual: sanctions, tariffs, and a performative hug in the UN hallway. To show true statesmanship, one should passively embrace the person who called you an autocrat.

Trump was the odd man out. Finally conceding that Ukraine should retain its territory, but only after years of hedging. Still shielding Netanyahu even as Britain, France, Canada, Australia, and others recognize Palestine. Still playing the strongman’s apprentice when the rest of the world is calling for accountability.

Back home, the legal farce continues. Trump’s defamation suit against the Wall Street Journal over their Epstein reporting managed to produce the opposite of what he wanted. Murdoch’s lawyers filed a motion to dismiss that didn’t just say “no defamation here”, it came armed with exhibits. Page after page showed how Trump, over the years, has already done the job himself: obscene doodles in Epstein’s birthday album, lies and contradictions preserved in the Congressional record, his own statements replayed as evidence. The filing’s argument was devastating in its simplicity: you can’t defame a man who has made a career out of defaming himself.

The Journal laid out a highlight reel of Trump’s self-inflicted humiliation. His greatest hits album of misconduct has been self-published all along, in Sharpie, In the Access Hollywood tapes, in lawsuits, and on Truth Social. The result? A Streisand Effect with gold trim, where the very act of trying to bury the story guaranteed it will be remembered.

I never thought I’d be rooting for Rupert Murdoch. His news organization helped elevate Trump to the White House, but here we are. His lawyers just did what decades of journalists, comedians, and critics have been trying to do: put Trump’s self-denigration on the official record. It’s a strange world when the Wall Street Journal’s legal team becomes the unexpected voice of truth, but then again, it took Murdoch’s empire to point out the obvious: Donald Trump is his own worst character witness.

Jimmy Kimmel reminded America why satire exists. Returning to late night after being pulled off the air, he delivered a monologue that doubled as a civics lesson. He thanked supporters across the political spectrum, even Ted Cruz, who briefly stumbled into truth, and underlined the stakes: “If the government gets in the business of saying, ‘we’re going to ban you from the airwaves if you don’t say what we like,’ that will end up bad for conservatives.” For once, Kimmel quipped, “Ted Cruz is right.”

He made the case that government threats to silence comedians are the hallmark of authoritarianism: “This show is not important. What is important is that we get to live in a country that allows us to have a show like this.” That line wasn’t a laugh line; it was a warning.

The FCC-as-mob-boss sketch landed hard because it wasn’t really a joke. Trump’s own FCC chairman has been caught making mafioso threats to networks. And Kimmel’s mockery of Trump’s Tylenol rant, “Don’t take Tylenol. Don’t take it. Don’t take it.”, was almost redundant, because Trump had already delivered the unhinged version himself at a White House press event.

Up late rage-posting, Trump threatened to sue ABC and Disney for the crime of letting a comedian speak. He moaned that giving Kimmel his job back was an “illegal campaign contribution” and promised to “test it out” for another payout, because in Trumpworld, even defamation is supposed to be a revenue stream.

Not sure I have ever shared this, but I haven’t owned a television since I left home at sixteen. I have never seen a full episode of Friends, Seinfeld, or even Kimmel’s show. My kids grew up without TV. These days I live on transcripts, text, and a YouTube Premium subscription. And maybe that’s the point, even those of us far outside the TV bubble feel the chill when media consolidation meets presidential censorship. Disney raises prices while getting leaned on by the White House, networks yank shows under pressure, and suddenly satire is just another target on Trump’s “enemies list.” When the FCC becomes a protection racket, you don’t need to watch late night to know the joke’s on us.

But let’s not get distracted. While Trump plays censor-in-chief and Nobel wannabe diplomat, there was actual movement toward accountability yesterday. In Arizona, Adelita Grijalva, daughter of the late Raul Grijalva, won her special election in a landslide. Her victory isn’t just a continuation of her father’s progressive legacy; it’s the likely 218th signature on the House discharge petition to force a vote on releasing the Epstein files. That’s right: while Trump is suing newspapers over his Epstein doodles, Congress may finally pry open the vault. The math is brutal, and this time it works against him.

So here’s your roundup headline: at the UN, Trump was isolated; in Miami, he was humiliated; on late night TV, he was lampooned; and in Arizona, he was outmaneuvered. The world is calling autocrats what they are, comedians are fighting back, and the decisive vote to crack open Epstein’s secrets is about to be sworn in. Somewhere in that tangle, Trump’s dream of a Nobel Prize looks about as plausible as his golf handicap.