Delete Key Presidency

Redactions, revisions, and reruns of delusion as Trump stumbles through another cognitive collapse and tries to memory-hole history.

Good morning! They used to say the revolution won’t be televised. But these days, you might miss it entirely if you blink between network commercial breaks or dare to trust the federal website search function. History, it seems, is being deleted in real time, one redaction, one “curatorial update,” and one cognitive train wreck at a time.

Let’s start with what’s left of Donald Trump’s frontal lobe, which made a rare appearance this weekend at yet another unhinged driveway gaggle. The man opened his mouth and out came a numerical fever dream. He proudly declared that under his leadership, drug prices were being slashed not by 50%, not even 100%, but by 1,200, 300, 400, 1,500%, numbers that don’t exist outside of MLM conference hype videos or flat-earth Facebook groups. And just to keep the fantasy alive, he’s now threatening a “tariff rebate dividend” for the American people, which, spoiler, is just the latest bait in the never-ending MAGA Ponzi scheme. You pay the tariffs through higher prices, and then maybe, maybe, he mails you a $200 check and calls it a miracle. We can expect those tariff checks about as soon as we can expect Big Pharma to pay us to use their drugs.

Meanwhile, back in the realm of “Donald Trump tries to cover up sex trafficking,” we learned more about the quiet transfer of Ghislaine Maxwell to a cushy minimum-security prison camp in Bryan, Texas. Influencer Jessica Reed Krauss, who’s made a career out of Epstein file drops and photoshoots featuring red string, claims Maxwell is on track for home confinement followed by probation. A convicted sex trafficker, facing no new charges, potentially about to walk free with the White House’s blessing. According to Krauss, she’s in direct contact with Trumpworld figures and insists this plan is already in motion. It’s not a cover-up, they tell us. It’s “routine.”

This is happening just as the redacted Epstein files continue to expose exactly who’s being protected. As we covered previously, the latest cache of unsealed documents contains massive blackouts, but one name gets special treatment. Every reference to Trump is not just blacked out, but redirected internally for review by loyalists. As one whistleblower confirmed, the FBI was told to reroute “any document mentioning Trump” to a specific backchannel, bypassing normal processing. That’s obstruction dressed up in procedure.

And if that’s not enough selective memory-holing for one administration, there’s the Smithsonian. The National Museum of American History just quietly removed all references to Trump’s two impeachments from its permanent “Limits of Presidential Power” exhibit. They say it’s temporary, that the exhibit is being “restored” to its 2008 appearance, but what perfect symbolism: when a twice-impeached, twice-losing insurrectionist, convicted felon president seizes power again, the museum tasked with remembering democracy decides to forget.

Even the White House lawn has become a metaphor for decline. Trump bragged about the newly resurfaced Rose Garden, claiming its bright white stone was chosen to “reflect heat.” Meanwhile, the heat he should be facing, judicial, political, and historical, is being muffled by loyalist appointees, purged oversight panels, and museum curators now acting like defense attorneys.

But Trump isn’t just trying to delete the past. He’s hallucinating a new one. In his latest fantasy tour of world peace, he claimed to have personally stopped wars in Rwanda, the Congo, Cambodia, Thailand, Serbia, Kosovo, India, and Pakistan. Never mind that Malaysia brokered the Thailand-Cambodia deal, or that the Rwanda-Congo conflicts aren’t even over. Russian state media is now openly mocking his “five wars stopped” claim right before showing nudes of Melania and suggesting a Trump–Putin “cultural collaboration” involving “movies or songs.” International diplomacy, brought to you by OnlyFans.

And if you think this parade of cognitive rot couldn’t get more grotesque, Trump ended his presser with a deeply uncomfortable flirtation with actress Sydney Sweeney, after learning she’s a registered Republican. “Now I love her ad,” he smirked, in a tone that said less “leader of the free world” and more “your uncle just discovered TikTok.”

Oh, and Laura Loomer? Trump called her “very nice” and “a patriot.” That’s the same Laura Loomer who locked herself to Twitter HQ wearing a Star of David and compared her ban to being in a concentration camp. The same Loomer who says Kamala Harris has had so many abortions her uterus is broken and that curry will stink up the White House. That Laura Loomer is, per Trump, part of his inner circle.

There is no plan, only a desperate, decaying man trying to rewrite the past while cheating at golf in front of cameras and giving convicted traffickers sweetheart deals behind the scenes. The terrifying part? He’s got the power to do it.

Welcome to the Delete Key Presidency. Where facts are optional, the past is malleable, and the crimes are bipartisan until proven inconvenient.